Evil Forces in the World

Reflections on ''Evil Forces in the World,'' as well as occasional remarks concerning ''Good Forces in the World.''

Saturday, March 02, 2002

Sleeping pills are an evil force in this world. I came home last night to find my mom sitting at her computer, smirking at the AOL published image of Brittany Spears in front of her, mumbling sporadically "Yes" and even more sporadically "No." I started asking questions just to test whether these emissions were responding to any real or imagined stimulus. "Are you using the computer?" "No." "Are you on email?" "Yes." "Do you want to go to bed?" "Yes." "Then you should go." "Yes." In the end, I had to carry her to the bathroom, take out her contact lenses, and tuck her in. Taking other people's contact lenses out is actually one of the five most cruel tortures inflicted upon political prisoners in Iran, the other four involved tweezers. I am very ill after that. Now I suggest everyone be very careful before taking sleeping pills. Don't use a computer after imbibing. You could fall over and bang your pretty little head.

Tuesday, February 26, 2002

Cruel and unusual? Or just snacking? Evil, no doubt, but damn funny.
If there is a valid, sensible excuse for slacking off on the blogging, then surely I don't know what that is. My only excuse is that I've been a little tired this week, and seemingly, my computer seems to be operating at 1.6mHz slower than usual. Actually though, I also have been a little on the woeful side as of late, but for insubstantial reasons. Nonetheless, last night I did fool myself into believing the reason I am sad is that the wonderful moments of my youth have dissipated into asinine nostalgia. For instance: I was remembering my first "date" with a girl named Nicole when I was 7. My mom arranged the whole thing, because she was worried I was being too anti social and would grow up to have no friends, and surely a date couldn't hurt. I actually ran into Nicole a few years back, and she was looking rather attractive, roughly 40 times hotter than when she was 7. Who would have known? And who would have known that I'd grow up anyway to become an awkward goon? Actually, probably a lot of people could have. This little thread prompts the following observation: girls named Nicole are forces of evil.

Monday, February 25, 2002

Jesse Kellerman, adventurer, artist, and formidable force of good, can never post enough. I, on the other hand, have been slacking off, in part because my heart is filled with woe. Whoa. And why is that, you ask? I am very, very nervous about my future. This is somewhat evil. And it's silly. I was fine earlier on, but am now nervous. Send me words of encouragement and perhaps I'll send you a fine sandwich. It is unlikely, but not impossible.

Sunday, February 24, 2002

Sorry to post again so soon, but this just had to be brought to Reihan's attention. It's spicy! And good!
Pretentiousness is evil, but not when it's justified.