Evil Forces in the World

Reflections on ''Evil Forces in the World,'' as well as occasional remarks concerning ''Good Forces in the World.''

Thursday, February 27, 2003

I just received a fascimile
Featuring the simile,
"You are like the soot in my chimney,
Jiminy"
Cricket, that's a game that I don't play
Plus I don't eat Yoplait
Which is not to say
It's not okay
Similarly,
I don't wear a lei
Whether in New York, Cooperstown, or LA
But maybe Honolulu
I fooled you
Into thinking I was Shaka Zulu
With my Zulu garb, plus I was eating
Gerber
And sherbert, I said, "Herbert,
Please, don't appease my fleas,"
First they ask for peas, but then they demand
Giant redwood
Trees
But they're
Endangered
"I'm The Stranger,"
Killing a scarab, a beetle
I wheedled you
Out of your needles, true
Had the flu,
But now I'm feeling better: so are you
Ooooooh,
Who let you out of the petting zoo?

The zooooooo
Wildebeests, wearin' fleece
And Ed Meese packin' a piece
With Reese Witherspoooooooon
A full moooooon, and werewolves are howlin'
Coyotes are scowlin'
Mangy mutts are growlin'
Harry Potter tomes are written
By J.K. Rowlin'
But they're foulin'
Droppin' elbows
I send you to Elba
With a slice of melba toast
And a pot roast
But I never boast
Stop haunting me, Demi Moore as seen in "Ghost"
Your Brat Pack is finished, not Finnish
So go and eat your spinach
In Helsinki, your armpits
Are stinky
And rinky-dinky
Odor survives a nuclear blast,
Much like a pair of Twinkies

Wednesday, February 26, 2003

Alright, I'm still sick, but, with any luck, I should be fine soon enough.

Faster, my wicked robot rolls
Like dinner rolls
And greased poles
That make you dance a lot
Slot machines
Never seized Alcatraz like Russell Means
Plus I never eat green beans, I eat broccoli
Properly
I'm very sick, and so I'm home from work. I ought to be drinking fluids, and I am. Right now, however, I will put my octagonal twelve ounce glass down in order to write a brief rap:

Mister, Mister Old Timer,
Nursery school rhymer
Give you angina
That's why you grab your chest so hard
Leave you scarred and charred
Bulletproof vest
Shattered to shards
Gerards,
Depardieu, I see you
Even though I'm illin'
Pop-pillin'
Or pill-poppin'
Been hip-hoppin'
Even though my ankle's twisted
I
Risked it all
Better than Charles de Gaulle
More like Leon Blum
You bum, and I never eat plums
Only prunes
My ATV hops over many sand
Dunes
Goons and ghosts and goblins
Think you've got problems?
You run rogue regimes, and you think I won't topple them?
Well, then you're sadly mis-
Taken
I don't eat sausage links, and I don't eat
Bacon
Macon, Georgia
Counterfeiters and forgers
Drinkin' Folgers
No Limit Soldiers
Facing their limitations:
An endless cycle of violence, and related complications
Alongside Francophone mental patients,
Whether Quebecois
Or Haitian
"What the Old World needs is quality irrigation,"
He said, "I don't believe that, hell and tarnation!"
While the Omen III featured the devil's latter-day incarnation
Instant breakfast
"You're gonna love it in an instant," so don't be reckless
Or feckless, or freckle-less
If you're born with freckles
All Mr Hydes and Jekylls, drop the hammer and sickle
I thought I told you, "No cole slaw and no pickle,
Plus a side of mayo,"
Did someone say, "tu es feo"?
Your Spanish is wack: Work on that
Uh,
Medium well, the rhymes make my head swell
"Hell's bells," Jimmy
Kimmel Live
Your Cliveden Set,
This feast is not Babette's, and I never eat rabbits
Or wear nun's habits, it's a bad habit
I'm told Sinclair Lewis wrote about Babbit
If you see my tape, I suggest you grab it