Dude, this is ill:

September 29, 2004 -- VAL Kilmer's new play, "The 10 Commandments," which opened at the Kodak Theater in L.A. on Monday, is a riot — but not intentionally. One attendee told Defamer.com: "[It was] one of the strangest pieces of theater to come down the pike in a while . . . Val Kilmer as Moses is mind-bogglingly bad . . . he talk/sings, prances around in a Pharaoh outfit and even a red burka at one point . . . most of his stage time is spent on his knees or lying around while the other performers try not to embarrass themselves too much, considering they are in an Egyptian disco. The burning bush went out a few times as well." But Kilmer isn't just playing a prophet — he's also teaming up with Richard Perry on a movie where he'll play a producer who discovers a 15-year-old singing sensation. Barbra Streisand's goddaughter, Caleigh Peters, 15, is trying out for the role, which mirrors her own life. "Caleigh just did a demo with Hilary Duff's producer," her rep says. "Barbra Streisand listened to it and says it's amazing. She's shopping it now."

It's so fresh I have to leave it alone. What to say? Where to begin?