Evil Forces in the World

Reflections on ''Evil Forces in the World,'' as well as occasional remarks concerning ''Good Forces in the World.''

Thursday, May 15, 2003

My National Health Service
I don't need Robert Jervis
Or Gervase,
You're nervous? Anxious?
Thanks, just
relax
You'll be medivac-ed
Bivouacked, and shellaced

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Diana Jan,
Man
i.
Slapdash, mazumdar
Yaar, get out of my yard
My soilent
Been foilin'
You are boilin'
It's hot tonight,
As hot as cocoa
Chased by popo
From Pittsburgh to the Poconos
Gave you
A broken nose
Loews
Cineplex Odeon,
Deion
Sanders, battling Cobra Commanders
With dreds the shape of salamanders
Two-handers
Michiko Kakutani
Go weep to your Nani
Or vote for
Lenora Fulani,
My Hausa, Ibo, Yoruba
Play the tuba
I've gotsta scuba
Dive
While I drink Five Alive
And play jai alai
Riiiiiiight?

ii.
Known as Winona,
Name is Noni Horowitz
iMac Memories
"Shadrach meshach,"
Attack you with my iMac
Alas, alack
Even when I go "Quack, quack,"
Like a duck,
You're out of luck
Chuck Norris,
Horace hear awhat-what?
Eating lots of porridge
I put you in cold storage
I've had enough
"That's rough," you stated
"I don't like being refrigerated"
Mate, it's better than being chopped up and then regurgitated
Just like "they" did,
And by "them" I mean the ones I already ate-d
I mean "have already eaten,"
My only hobby is beatin' Eton
Alumni, calumny
Why don't we go practice Falun Gong moves tonight?
That's some dissident tai chi
Because aerobic exercise and good personal hygiene
Will lead to nice things,
Of thee I sing
Read it in the I Ching

I went to elementary school with a kid called Ming. Along with Guogan, we were a miniature gang of short-statured Asians, two from the East and one (me) from the South. And so an elemental conflict had been glossed over in the white heat of melting pot Brooklyn. I think I was better friends with Ming. Guogan was an extremely angry young man. Last night, I had a dream in which Ming showed up to some function being held by my parents. In the dream, Ming brough his Bengali-born girlfriend. It was extremely strange. She was quiet but charming in the very girly way. In the dream, I never interacted with her. I briefly said hello to her, and to Ming, but I mainly heard about her via others at the function. I don't know exactly what this means. I'm reluctant to assign any significance to this.

A source of frustration: I've been exhausting the seemingly inexhaustible mine of movies one can see. J M Shapiro has solved this puzzle by joining some sort of service that sends him movies via the mail that he can return at any time to exchange for others. Brilliant. But I have no access to a kind of televisual recording medium viewing device, which is screwy, and so I rely on going to movie theaters. There must be some that I'm missing. In Cambridge, Massachusetts, there's the Brattle: classics are screened, along with movies that only go to New York the first time around. In this sense, as in many others, New York literally sucks the cultural life out of much of the Eastern seaboard.

Were I to be placed in charge of Brooklyn, there are many things I'd do differently than the powers-that-be. The first thing I'd do is create a uniform for myself, which would be encrusted with diamonds. I'm not one for jewelry as a rule. I'm hard-pressed to imagine wearing jewelry of any kind on a whim. In this case, it would be to establish and cement the august nature of the office, to inspire awe and respect in my followers. What better way to do that then to wear gaudy baubles? "Gaudy Baubles" might be a good name for something.